Today we talk to Vivienne Sarobe a sponsor of INC and long-time supporter of the club. Vivienne has had a long career as a psychologist and is currently turning her hand to creative projects.
Firm friends
Tell us about the audiobook to accompany the album of songs you have composed in memory of your son Gustavo who died 10 years ago.
Mourning a child is seldom talked about. It´s almost a taboo subject. I wanted to share my experiences of it and telling stories and singing songs during my decade-long experience of this type of loss seemed an appropriate medium with which to explore that grief and help others who might be on a similar journey. The album is called Santanhara and is available on Spotify.
Why did you decide to encapsulate your thoughts on the grief of losing a child in this creative format?
Music was very much part of Gustavo´s life, just like it is in mine. He was a talented cellist. Songwriting gives me the freedom to express the raw rainbow of emotions one goes through with the loss of a child. The stories help one process the tragedy and help you to co-habit with the grief, to integrate it into one´s life. Channelling that experience into something creative reframes it and gives the memories one cherishes a new lease of life.
Gustavo was an accomplished cellist
What is the significance of the name of the record: Santanhara?
After much research I discovered that most languages do not have a single word that refers specifically to a parent who has lost a child. In English, like many other languages, we have widow and widower but there is no word that refers to a person who has suffered the death of their own child. I finally found that ancient Sanskrit word santanhara proved to be the exception and it refers specifically to just that so it seemed a fitting title for my album and audiobook.
Music is a way of life for Vivienne
Tells us about your latest book about chronic pain and fatigue from fibromyalgia or Central Nervous System Syndrome that you have suffered from
A few years ago I underwent a double knee operation and that procedure triggered a sensation of permanent pain all over my body. It was like a switch that turned the pain on I can´t switch it off. I have had to learn to live with it. It´s a pretty common dysfunction of the nervous system and my book contains lots of tips I have picked up during my years of research into the condition.
Vivienne hits the mike
What do you mean by your motto that to live a creative life is to live a life in your hands?
In my experience, when you are in a situation where you feel invaded, like grief, pain, war, every ounce of empowerment counts. Victor Frankel famously described our power as the gap between stimulus and response. Being creative means something very simple that any cook has experienced: you need to feed yourself with whatever is available in the market. That means you need to accept that you might not be able to get what you want. Creativity is intrinsically bound up with play and empowerment. It´s about allowing yourself to experiment and make mistakes. When we accept our circumstances and decide to play we use our imagination to create something that really suits us. We dare to be ourselves. And that way we are much more likely to have a good life.
How has your professional background as a psychologist helped you in your work today?
One of the great things of being a psychologist is that I get to practice what I teach whenever something becomes challenging. I love to share empowerment tricks with people. Now I´m also doing it on TikTok, please subscribe and ask any questions on psychology, I promise to answer!
Vivienne and band members
You´re also a jazz singer – what sort of music do you sing and how has music enriched your life over the last few years?
I´m a great fan of celebrating female jazz singers. I love Amy Winehouse, Billy Holiday, Ella Fitzgerald, and I´m strongly influenced by them.
My band performs at public and private venues. We do events, weddings, cocktails, house concerts, etc. In fact, we have accidentally become professional.
Laughter is the spice of life
Finally, as if the list of creative talents wasn’t long enough already, you´re also a keen stand-up comedian, what is it about humour that attracted you to write a show about love and finding a partner?
I believe that when you can laugh at something you have at least enough perspective so it doesn´t enslave you. I´m writing a new show with music and stories, I hope it seems as funny to others as to me.
Vivienne Sarobe – Tel: +34 616 10 80 13
Tik Tok @viviennesarobe
